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Eulogy

28 Aug

eulogy

Paige Livre was the worst person I know. I knew her well enough and I can boldly say this. Paige was a selfish girl. She always thought about herself and contemplated on whether someone was worth her time. She was envious, always trying to compete with her friends and making a huge effort to outdo them. She was very vain, always standing in front of the mirror and spending hours just to be sure she looked better than anyone else. And she was prideful, always judging people and seeing them as inferior.

Paige was also hateful. You wouldn’t believe the ridiculous things she had announced hate upon. She hated the sun, because it was too bright and it made her sweat. She hated the sea, because its breeze would mess up her hairdo she spent hours on. She hated people, the ones that she could not see eye to eye with and the ones she just hated out of pride. She hated lifts that moved too slowly, she hated carton fruit juices that lied about containing real fruit juice, and she hated waiting for anyone and anything.

Seeing Paige everyday, I sometimes wondered if she had trouble dealing with all of those flaws. But I soon realized that all those flaws made her unique. Paige was a hateful person and the worst human being I’ve ever known, but she was also the best one I’ve ever met.

Paige Livre was the best person I know. She was very thoughtful, always thinking of ways to make someone’s day… even a stranger’s. She was positive, always encouraging those who had a hard time and constantly looking at the bright side of life. She was helpful, always putting aside her selfishness for those she cared about and going out of her way to put a smile on their faces. And she was careful with her words. She knew that words had the power to destroy and she tried her best to not say anything hurtful.

Paige was also loving. She loved the rain, because it gave her a chance to unwind with a hot cup of chocolate and a book. She loved the birds, because she always heard a song in their cheerful chirps. She loved the stars, because it gave her hope that tomorrow would be better. And most importantly, she loved people.

She loved her parents more than anyone else. She loved her father for begging the doctor to let her visit Disney Land. She loved him for pushing her wheelchair at the park and standing in line so that she could see her favourite Disney characters. She loved him for reading her stories on the nights when she was too weak to read to herself. She loved him for simply being there.

Paige loved her mother too. She loved her for trying to give her a normal life when things started to get rough. She loved her for driving her to the mall and to parties so that she would not feel left out. She loved her for preparing her favourite meals everyday, helping her get dressed, putting up with her random moments of tears and screams, and for hugging her when it hurt. She loved her for simply being there.

There was also a bunch of people she loved, and they were her friends. She loved them for visiting her and bringing her cards and balloons. She loved them for writing her encouraging notes with hope of her recovery. She loved them for sleeping over at the hospital to keep her company. And she loved them for hiding their tears from her. It was hard knowing her days were numbered, but her friends spared her the agony of seeing them in grief. She loved them for simply being there.

Being someone who knew she was dying was not easy on Paige. She had dreams she wanted to achieve, places she wanted to see, food she wanted to taste, and words she wanted to hear. But when she thought about all that she was missing out, she couldn’t help but think about all that she had gained. It was in that hard time that Paige learned to love herself.

She loved all her unique traits; the good and the bad. She loved how her teeth were not even and how her hair was always messy. She loved not being able to wear the colour yellow because it did not match her skin colour. She loved her healthy self when she could run, dance, and laugh, and she loved her sick self when she found it hard to speak, eat, and move.

Paige Livre died with love. The kind of death the world envies. That is all that matters, don’t you agree? I love you, Paige Livre. Thank you for the few good years.

That was it. I could not write anymore. There was a pain in my chest and my fingers were too weak to scribble another word. I wished I could reread what I just wrote, but my head was spinning and the words were starting to appear blurry.

As the monitor beside me beeped slowly, almost fusing into a single dead note, I began to wonder if that night was my last. Two days ago, my family and friends came to see me. They said I could let go and rest, but I couldn’t even utter a final goodbye when they walked out the door. I knew I had to leave them with something, so I gathered all the strength I had left and wrote my own eulogy. It’s not normal to write your own eulogy, but let me be the first.

Well, I guess I can close my eyes now. I hope that last page of my book would bring more smiles than tears. Goodnight Paige, goodbye world.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

As depressing as this story was, I want to leave you with a question; do you love yourself?

We are not perfect and there will be parts of ourselves that we dislike, but those imperfections make us unique. Understanding that we are special and loving ourselves for it, is what we should all do. It is definitely not easy as we are our own haters, but loving ourselves will make a huge difference in the way we view life. I hope you love yourself, but if you can’t, I hope you find a way 🙂

As always, let me know what you think of this story in the comments below! I would love to hear your thoughts and I hope you enjoyed it. 

© 2014 Jeyna Grace

(For more short stories, click HERE)

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12 Comments

Posted by on August 28, 2014 in Original Works

 

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12 responses to “Eulogy

  1. njmckay

    August 28, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    Very moving! It really hit home at the end when we discover who was writing.

     
    • Jeyna Grace

      August 28, 2014 at 8:13 pm

      Glad it did 🙂 I was a little emotional when I wrote it too.

       
  2. thedazedmommy

    August 28, 2014 at 10:01 pm

    Wow, what a lovely story. I got a bit emotional at the end! I remind myself of the ‘old’ Paige sometimes. It’s pretty difficult to love yourself when you’re your biggest critic. Thank you for writing this and for reminding us that it’s okay to love ourselves!

    Katie, The Dazed Mommy
    https://dazedmommy.wordpress.com

     
    • Jeyna Grace

      August 28, 2014 at 10:05 pm

      Thank you! True, it is and it can be a struggle sometimes. Thank you for reading and letting me know what you think 🙂 I appreciate it.

       
  3. incoherentwhispers

    August 31, 2014 at 11:06 am

    i liked the contrast between love and hate.

     
  4. TheShikster

    September 3, 2014 at 8:55 am

    Once again, another great piece. I don’t know how you manage to write stories so moving.
    Onto other news, I’ve nominated you for the One Lovely Blog award, because your blog truly is lovely. Here’s a link to my post, in case you’re not familiar with the rules.

    http://thefangirlreport.wordpress.com/2014/09/02/one-lovely-blogger-award/

     
    • Jeyna Grace

      September 3, 2014 at 9:11 am

      Thank you! And thank you! I’ll definitely check it out 🙂

       
  5. spacemonkie926

    September 6, 2014 at 9:46 pm

    At first I was scratching my head about this mishmash of emotions over who Paige was until the realization hits and I instantly saw myself… frequent critic and occasional salesman. Thanks for the wonderful piece and reminder that we are each stories in progress.

     
    • Jeyna Grace

      September 7, 2014 at 6:41 pm

      We all are, somehow or rather. Thank you for reading 🙂 I’m glad it related to you.

       
  6. Roche Leonor

    September 8, 2014 at 1:33 pm

    You have a very interesting blog. I like how your imagination works. 🙂

     

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