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Not My Brother

01 Sep

People always told him that when you are a breath away from death, your life flashes before your eyes. But he never knew that it could happen when he blacked out.

It was as though his life was rewinding backwards, like a broken tape. George thought he was probably dreaming as death scared him a little. He patiently waited for it to end when it stopped at a point of his life he barely remembered. It stopped when he pulled his first prank.

George was 8. He had just finished a toffee he struggled to give a name to. Its effects? Well, George wouldn’t say, but he would rather show.

That morning, he headed down to the kitchen for a late breakfast. And hidden in his small palm was the specially made toffee. He was hoping to try it on one of his brothers, and the one who so willingly sat at the kitchen table was Percy.

“Percy, you want candy?” George asked as he climbed onto the chair next to him.

“What candy?” Percy asked skeptically as he eyed his brother.

George stuck out his hand and Percy shook his head.

“Come on, i had too much last night and i didn’t want it to go to waste. AND mother said never to give Ron ANY candy.” George tried to coax his brother into taking it.

“Fine, but don’t tell mother. We’re not suppose to have candy before lunch,” Percy, the goody-two-shoes, said as he popped it in his mouth.

George waited and watched his brother closely, waiting to see if it worked. And just before his brother could spit the toffee out, out of suspicion, his tongue swelled up and plopped out from his mouth.

“Ugh!” George said as he laughed.

“Wha-di-do-do-do-may?!” Percy tried so hard to ask.

George, who was rather proud, was about to explain when his mother walked in. And what she saw didn’t make her happy at all.

“George Weasley! What did you do now?!” Molly Weasley’s voice echoed through the kitchen.

Not knowing how to answer his very angry mother, George ran. He ran around the table just to slow his mother down before dashing out the back door.

It was a beautiful day, but his yelling mother who was chasing him made it rather hard for him to admire the clear blue sky, which was what Fred was doing when he ran into him.

“Look at the sky, George. I think I see a dragon,” Fred said when he saw his brother.

“Mother. Is. Going. To. Kill. Me,” George said as he gasped for air.

Fred turned to look at the woman who was running towards them and he nudged his brother, “Run!”

They ran down the meadow as fast as they could.

“What did you do?!” Fred shouted.

“I gave Percy a HUGE tongue!” George shouted in reply.

“So it worked?!” Fred asked turning around to see their mother catching up.

“YES!” George laughed as he answered. “Is she catching up?!” George was too afraid to look.

“Yes! Hide! I’ll handle her,” Fred said as he pushed his brother towards a big rock.

When Molly finally caught up with one of her sons, she sternly placed her hands on her waist, inhaling deeply as she tried to catch her breath.

“Where is your brother Fred?!” Molly yelled.

Fred, who was standing in plain view, shrugged.

“Where is he?! You tell me now or i’ll…” Molly attempted to threaten the 8 year-old who didn’t even flinch.

“It’s not Fred’s fault,” Fred said.

“What are you talking about, Fred?”

“I’m not Fred, I’m George,” Fred confidently answered. And Molly was left wondering. Did she mistaken her sons again?

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,” Fred quickly apologize.

“Well, that doesn’t mean you can get away with it! You’re doing the dishes tonight, and you’re grounded for the whole week,” Molly said so sternly that Fred didn’t dare talk back.

“No more play time, you’re coming back to the house to help me with lunch,” Molly ordered.

“But mother…”

“Not BUTS!” Molly said as she pinched Fred on his ear and dragged him along. “Ow! That hurts!” Fred moaned all the way back to their house.

When the coast was clear, George came out from behind the rock. He felt rather bad for letting his brother take the blame, but what were twin brothers for?

The memory started to blur and George slowly came back to the present day. He wondered what had just happened, and why it happened now, when the death eaters were attacking. But as he ran to find his brother, he saw Percy, fist clenched and eyes wet.

“Percy,” George called, but Percy stormed pass him.

He immediately knew something was not right. And when he saw Fred, hidden in a wall niche, not moving, George had a very bad feeling.

“Fred?” George choked as he hurried to his brother. “No.” Tears welled up in his eyes as he touched his brother’s chest. It was not moving. “No.” Tears rolled down his cheeks. “Not my brother. Please.”

As the sobs became uncontrollable, one memory remained. The brother who was willing to take the blame for him was dead. Where was he when he needed him? His tears would not stop falling because through thick and thin, through ups and downs, they were always together. Today, death separated them. Forever.

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43 Comments

Posted by on September 1, 2011 in Fan Fiction (Shorts)

 

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43 responses to “Not My Brother

  1. alltimestories

    September 1, 2011 at 8:59 pm

    Hi
    I didn’t know your writing was so good!

     
  2. rememberthisstuff

    September 2, 2011 at 7:08 am

    Great work! Keep it up.

     
  3. An Idealist Thinker

    September 2, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    Hi Jeyna, please don’t mind my blunt honesty, but you do need to get an editor. Especially if you are serious about writing, which you definitely seem to be. Otherwise you are doing great, by the way.

     
    • Jeyna Grace

      September 2, 2011 at 5:26 pm

      Why? Is there a flaw somewhere? A grammatical mistake or error? If there is, do point it out. Cause i dont see any errors, and i think so far ppl understand what i’m writing.

       
      • An Idealist Thinker

        September 5, 2011 at 7:50 pm

        I understand what you are writing, and I am pretty sure other people do too. I just thought of doing the unpleasant task of pointing it out since you seem to want to pursue this professionally. Sorry if I upset you! It was a grammatical error. Spelling errors can happen with anyone, so I wouldn’t worry about them.

        I can do one thing for you. For your next post that I get in my mailbox, I will edit and send back to you. If you think that’s fine, you can send me your email address. Mine is at http://anidealistthinker.wordpress.com/

         
        • Jeyna Grace

          September 5, 2011 at 7:58 pm

          I wasnt upset. I realized my reply sounded like i was, but i wasnt.
          I accept corrections anytime, so long i am showed where i went wrong.
          So, could you so kindly point out where i went wrong? I’ll edit it here, there couldnt be so many could there?

           
          • An Idealist Thinker

            September 6, 2011 at 1:07 pm

            Oops.. i don’t remember anymore; will have to re-read slowly for that.
            For me, errors or revisions are more apparent the first time I read it. The more i keep reading it, the more it seems fine. Will try to tell for the next one, if there are any! 🙂

             
          • Jeyna Grace

            September 6, 2011 at 7:34 pm

            Haha! ok, sure, thanks! 🙂

             
      • haylzie

        April 18, 2013 at 9:51 am

        Well the one error you have done repeatedly is not using capital i’s, but i don’t think that’s a huge deal!

         
        • Jeyna Grace

          April 18, 2013 at 10:07 am

          Yea, when I started I didn’t really focused so much on my writing. I’m glad people pointed it out, cause since then I improved 🙂

           
  4. J.Morgan

    September 3, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    Hello! Thanks for visiting my blog! Oh wow it seems you are a huge fan of Harry Potter and a talented writer to boot. Perhaps I’ll put up a link to your blog on my Harry Potter Issue, if it’s all good with you. 🙂

     
    • Jeyna Grace

      September 3, 2011 at 9:35 pm

      Oh sure, please do, that would be a great help! Thanks a lot!

       
  5. waterliyl

    September 6, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    I named my fish after fred and george!
    Nice post 😀 you write really well 🙂

     
    • Jeyna Grace

      September 6, 2011 at 7:35 pm

      I wanna name my future cats fred and george! haha! Thank you 🙂

       
  6. typefashion

    September 7, 2011 at 8:52 am

    wow ! it is a beautiful writing, keep at it and keep growing !

    xoxo

    http://www.typefashion.wordpress.com

     
  7. Judith Post

    September 7, 2011 at 9:31 pm

    This is great short fiction. I really enjoyed it. Only picky comment, you change verb tense once in a while. The story’s told in past tense, but occasionally you shift to present tense. A small thing, but I taught for six years. Couldn’t help noticing. Great imagination!

     
    • Jeyna Grace

      September 7, 2011 at 9:59 pm

      Oh, i did? Could you point out where pls? I would like to change it 🙂 Thanks for commenting and dropping by!

       
  8. Judith Post

    September 7, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    Okay, here goes, but this is all just small, grammatical stuff. The story’s great. You have “It’s effects when you want Its. It’s means it is.
    You have “waiting to see if it had worked” but you don’t need the “had.”
    “When his mother walked it” is just a typo, you mean “in.”
    “George weasely!”–should have a capital “W.”
    “Look at the sky George” needs a comma “Look at the sky, George. “i think i see a dragon.”
    I is always capitalized. “I think I see….”
    “George said as he gasps for air.” gasps is present tense. “gasped for air” is past tense.
    “Where is your brother Fred” needs comma, so “your brother, Fred”
    “What are you talking about Fred” is “talking about, Fred?”
    “I’m not Fred, i’m George” is “I’m George.”
    “mistaken” (I think) should be mistake
    “i won’t do it again.” “I won’t…”
    “as he touched his brothers chest” needs an apostrophe for possessive, so “brother’s chest.”
    “take the blame for him is dead.” “is” is present tense, so “was dead.”
    “Today, death separates them.” “separates” is present tense, so “separated.”
    These are all just picky things, but I belong to a writers’ group, and we catch this kind of stuff for each other. It’s hard to see your own mistakes. It’s nice to have an extra pair of eyes.

     
    • Jeyna Grace

      September 7, 2011 at 11:06 pm

      Thanks! My ‘i’s are small cause i’m too use to not holding the shift when i type an ‘i’. But thanks, I’ve made the necessary adjustments. You know, you could be a book editor, many could use your eyes to spot the mistakes.

       
  9. Judith Post

    September 7, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    I’d rather spend my time writing than editing. But thanks! Our group has a retired librarian who keeps us on the straight and narrow. No grammar mistakes for us. She’s a blessing.

     
    • Jeyna Grace

      September 7, 2011 at 11:13 pm

      Ah, unfortunately for me, the only people i can get for proofreading are my copywriter friends, who are busy with work and can only glance through my work. Its great that you have someone to make sure you are grammar mistake free.

       
  10. Judith Post

    September 7, 2011 at 11:16 pm

    Pretty soon, you’ll catch most of your own stuff. Your writing has a smooth flow. It reads well.

     
  11. Medha

    September 28, 2011 at 5:58 pm

    I’m kind of getting sick of praising all our work…I seem to be running out of descriptive words! 😉
    It really is very good!
    But I do agree with the others who commented…you need to get your stuff proofread and edited. I know I’m being repetitive and I’m sorry for that but those things really jump out to me when I’m reading. And shouldn’t the sentence “He had just finished a toffee” be “He had just finished making/creating a toffee”?

    Other than that, great stuff…keep writing! 🙂

     
    • Jeyna Grace

      September 28, 2011 at 7:59 pm

      Ah, I see. Never saw that one. Sounded fine when I read it. Thanks for letting me know!

       
      • Medha

        September 28, 2011 at 10:10 pm

        No Problem!

         
  12. Diki

    October 13, 2011 at 10:27 pm

    This is so good!! Really well written 🙂

     
  13. StarlitWishes

    October 20, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    Oh God! This is so sad! I LOVE the twins, as you might know from my post. But you write beautifully. 🙂 Thanks for finding my blog. I always love finding good HP FFs.

     
    • Jeyna Grace

      October 20, 2012 at 1:57 pm

      Thanks! No problem 🙂 Thanks for visiting back!

       
  14. donnaray

    November 21, 2012 at 4:50 am

    Awwww….I nearly cried….I miss all the characters especially those two…:(:(

     
  15. samiaidrees

    January 18, 2013 at 8:17 pm

    Really really well written… :)Fred and george really shouldn’t have parted..:(

     
  16. yawriterinthemaking

    August 7, 2013 at 9:52 am

    This made my eyes moist, but I loved it!

     
    • Jeyna Grace

      August 7, 2013 at 10:05 am

      Thanks! It made mine too when writing it 🙂

       
  17. Shankari Priya

    November 12, 2013 at 5:02 pm

    Goosebumps is the word, my dear! I’m quickly becoming a fan of your work.

    P.S. Have you written about what happens to Sirius after?? I kept hoping he’d come back laughing but that mystery never made sense to me.

     
    • Jeyna Grace

      November 12, 2013 at 5:07 pm

      Hahaha! I’m happy you are 😀

      Ah, no. That didn’t cross my mind. Honestly, I wasn’t quite a fan of Sirius. But him coming back would be a good story to turn things around.

       
      • Shankari Priya

        November 12, 2013 at 5:11 pm

        Well, I know he can’t come back because Rowling had him resurrected with the Deathly Hallow. Still, I’m just hoping to find peace with it. Severus and Sirius – my favourites.

         
        • Jeyna Grace

          November 12, 2013 at 5:14 pm

          True, we all need to find peace with our favs that did not make it. If I can come up with something, I’ll definitely write one for Sirius 🙂

           
          • Shankari Priya

            November 12, 2013 at 5:20 pm

            Thank you. Appreciate it 🙂

             

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